Typically, I alternate between a birthday party and birthday dinner each year. After my son passed in 2016, I had a difficult time celebrating my birthday. I pushed myself to celebrate year 36 and found myself in tears driving to the event venue. 

Although I know I deserved to celebrate and I was grateful for life, it just didn’t feel right. With COVID and all the craziness going on in the world I decided to celebrate my birthday in solitude. I asked my dear friend and event planner to put together a surprise birthday getaway! 















Needless to say I am relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to walk into 38 with audacity and authority.

Here are 38 Life Lessons I reflected on during my solo birthday celebration.

Forgiveness should be abundant and given freely.

Judge less because not everyone has the struggle I have.

I’m difficult to get to know. I’m going to change that.

I am learning how setting boundaries benefits me.

My voice is relevant.

I’m a great writer.

It’s not always about a big house and fancy car.

My purpose is tied to being a conduit for healing. I need to embrace this gift more.

And I don’t have the right to force anyone to heal.

There are levels to knowing God. Embrace the “uncertainty” before the reveal. 

I have way too much masculine energy. I am learning to tap into my femininity.

Trust my intuition. She be on point!

I am who I am. And as I evolve I take some of the “I am” with me. 

Time is a fear-based construct. When I eliminate time I soar. 

Just because I can doesn’t mean I have to.

I am a generational curse breaker.

Nobody owes me anything. I owe myself everything.

Allow people to do for you. You’re not the only person whose primary love language is Acts of Service.

I could definitely be a better friend.

I could definitely be a better family member.

People really do love me. Like, all parts of me.

I desire to be led by personal conviction.

I find myself everyntime I lose myself.

I need to become more present.

I really do love me. Like, all parts of me.

I can allow myself to be a hot mess. 

I can allow myself to be controversial.

Now more than ever I want to help heal black people.

I’m pretty freaking funny. In another life I was a comedienne.

Alot of my happiness is expressed through the arts. I miss my artistic parts. 

Legacy building is taking precedence in my life. 

I need to speak up more. Everything can’t stay inside my head.

My skin color makes me a target.

Charge your worth. 

“That ain’t none ofy business” is becoming my favorite phrase.

Keeping “busy” is a trauma response. I’ll be chillin’ a little more.

No more giving life to dead things.

Playing small has never benefitted me, so Ima do it big.

I have love. I am love. I give love.

I lack nothing. I lack nothing. I lack nothing.